Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
