quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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