You can't special order awesome
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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