There is no way he is gay with that hair.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
