He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
