i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
