When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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