I heard we made out
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Is it penis luge time yet?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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