who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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