Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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