Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
