I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
