I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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