just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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