you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
