What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
