I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
