Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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