therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
