i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
