It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
