we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize