can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
