i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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