My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
...so i touched it.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
