You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
