How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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