i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
