hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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