What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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