Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So much rum. So many feels.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
