At least make sure they are 18
Why
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
my penis made a compromise with my morals
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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