She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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