Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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