And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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