from now on my penis is your penis
I think my fart just growled at me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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