it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
