god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
