and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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