Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
last night I used snow as a chaser
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
