do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize