I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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