Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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