so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize