what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
