Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
