I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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