It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize