my phone needs a breathalizer
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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