i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
