If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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