remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
