did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
