you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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