hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
